Hey, Chaz:

I see that these past ten months in county have only honed your sense of pragmatic enterprise. And I like your can-do spirit! But let’s leaven that initiative with a smidge of legal reality.

To sum it up, you can’t sue your sister for kicking you out of a cover band. I know, I know: siblings are a squirrely bunch, right? Sucks for us. But! Read on. There’s a justice-colored lining here. For the sake of unrestrained exploration, voyage with me to the magical land of hypothesis…

Let’s pretend there’s a chap named Chadwick, a budding flautist in a classical ensemble. Everything’s larghetto and mezzo piano with the peaceful musicians until young Chadwick introduces a crescendo he can’t decrescendo -- he stumbles across some audio equipment that could arguably appear abandoned. Chadwick responds appropriately to his innate business sense and sells it on eBay. He had no idea all this stuff belonged to his own band! Who among us is without sin?

Chadwick recovers the gear and assures his band mates of the honest mistake, but his nitwit pianist presses charges anyway, landing our hero in a heap of trouble. The trio’s packing ‘em into the concert halls, and poor Chadwick’s been left out in the cold! But guess what? He’s going to sue his way back in. When he’s done with her, she’ll never play "Sicilienne" again!

First, Chadwick’s gotta get down to brass tacks here. He can’t allege that his intellectual property has been stolen; that song belongs to ol’ Gabe something-or-other. And in this case, the wrongful termination pond is murkier than a Mexican toilet bowl the morning after Cinco de Mayo.

Lucky for Chadwick, he’s got a bang-up lawyer; one who did his homework and knows that the wily pianist is using photos Chadwick took of his lilac garden on the band’s merch! Here’s Chadwick’s chance to gallop forth upon his golden copyright infringement pony like a hero, a true Lt. John J. Dunbar!

So returning to you with good news, Chaz… You and Chadwick have something attractive in common: a behemoth legal mind with options aplenty. Call my office at your leisure, and Francesca will schedule a sit-down. You’ll be happy you did.

Yours in sweet harmony,

Saul Goodman